I need to come up with about $200. Ok, I don't NEED to. It is not a necessity. But it is for something that weighs very heavy on my heart.
T had pawned his brothers bass guitar and amp, the one thing that he truly treasured of Marks. Unreal. Anyway, he and I have had words over it several times. He feels horrid about it now, of course. As he should.
Anyway, upon last check, it was still at the pawn shop. And I want it back. *sigh*
I had a dream about Mark the other night. It was so real and so vivid. I could clearly see him. He hugged me and I could feel him. I could smell him. He always smelled so good. I won't get into the dream as it disturbed me quite a bit, but he was there in the end, telling me that it would all work itself out. He was always Mister Positive...
A lousy $200. Ugh.
About Me
- Jen
- Terra Alta, WV, United States
- Just a girl. A mom to a wonderful, sweet, smart, funny and amazing girl. Wife, daughter, sister, friend. Loves music, the outdoors, science, my friends and family. Finding joy in the simple things!
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5 comments:
I don't suppose the pawn shop could be talked down from price a bit? Or take some down and some later?
200 for a bass and amp is um. a good deal...
My uncles Richenbacher is at Symphony going for 1,500 bucks, so be happy you have 200 bucks to find.
You won't like this comment, but it is from experience. YOUR heart is heavy. He traded a valuable object for a llttle money and di what with it? Pawners give away valuable things (including trust)while we sacrifice to try to save them. Easy come, easy go. My son has pawned 3 set of music equipment when he got in a jam and wasted his talent for singing and song writing partly because he doesn't have the equipment he needs. He has to buy it the next time. This is said with love. Hope you won't be mad.
Belle - I am not sure, but I AM going to try to talk him down a bit.
Stace - I KNOW it is a good deal. It is an Ibanez. It was Mark's though..so there is no price on it really that would be too high. I know that is silly, but..well... *shrugs* The problem being is that I have absolutely NO way to come up with 200 bucks. And Symphony? Is that the place across from Stang? Is that place STILL there? I took guitar lessons there as a kid. Damn.
Shari - I am so NOT mad. You did not say anything wrong. If anyone gets where I am at, it is you.
And that is exactly why I took most of the shit out of the house when I left. I KNEW he would pawn whatever I left behind. He took the bass that day though, or it would have come with me. Thanks to me, he still has most of his shit. LOL
It IS my heart that is heavy. Though now that he is not using, he IS very sorry for letting go of certain things. However, he did tell me the other day that he was not sorry for letting go of a lot of the stuff that we had of Mark's. He said that he thinks having all of that stuff around (we had a TON of his things and all of his clothes)is a lot of the reason why he was never able to really let go, and deal with Mark's passing. We talk a LOT about Mark now. We have not been able to do that, ever. It is nice. It is nice to talk about him and smile, to remember. There is no negativity surround the subject any more. Being on all of the psych meds he was on, he never ever remembered his dreams. Now he does, and he dreams of Mark. I think that helps him too...
I do want that bass back though. That was a big thing in Mark's life. It was also the connection that Mark and I had..music. So it is important to me.
And IF I were to get the money, I would get it and it would be MINE, not T's. There is no way to come up with the $$ though, that is why I was venting.. :o\
Jen, I think Mark was trying to tell you it was OK. That the bass and amp are just things....not the light or the love. He will always be watching you to tell you life is good and its OK....they are just things. Your dear friend.
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