Wow

I was just looking back at old posts on here.
http://jen-hen.blogspot.com/2008/12/empty-heart.html

I was in a bad place then, hoping 2009 would be a better year.
I had NO idea what was just around the corner. *sigh*

I lost it all. My house, my vehicle, my routine, my comfort, and almost my husband.
I am not sure if I am doing the right thing by sticking it out with him. I question how I can still love him after all that he has done. But the bottom line is that I DO love him. I just hope that I do not feel like I did in that post, or in the months that followed EVER again.

Because it was my own little slice of Hell. It really, truly was.

I know it could always be worse. I think of M a lot in this regard. She is healthy. She is wonderful. I see moms and dads with sick or dying little kids and I THANK GOD that THAT is not my life.

And while I am thankful for being able to walk and talk and see and hear each day, and I am thankful that I have my child, and my mom, both healthy... it does not take away the sting of what DID happen.

I am not sure that T will be able to keep it together. Time will tell, I guess.
I know that I want, more than ANYTHING, for it all to work out.