Irritated

People just assume that if you are having trouble paying for your house, that you just bought too much house.

That is not the case for a lot of people. We purchased well under what we were approved for. We live in a 30 year old house in a 35 year old neighborhood. Meh. I know I have talked about this before. I feel guilty. Guilty that we are in this mess. I wonder what people think, even though I really shouldn't give a shit.

We do not have an adjustable rate mortgage. We have debt due to unforeseen mental and physical illnesses. We have debt, yes, in part to careless spending. But only because the mental/medical thing happened. We were able to pay for the spending prior to that. And by careless, I mean that we bought new furniture when we bought our house. And we went out to eat a lot. And we took vacations. And we bowled twice a week. And we had friends over for BBQs and parties. We were just...living.

Our biggest mistake was not focusing on savings. While we WERE putting money away, it was not enough.

And now, help would be a welcomed thing. Maybe then I could sleep at night. See, we are awaiting the report from when Todd had his MRI. He may (most likely) be facing more surgery. This time, a probable spinal fusion, and clearing out of arthritis in his lumbar spine. His legs are getting weaker by the day, and he can no longer feel his feet. Temporary disability pays about 60% of his salary. We can say goodbye to this house in that event. *sigh*
So THAT is why the help is needed. As it stands right this very second, we are barely making ends meet. My Mom helps us get groceries and I cannot tell you how much of a loser I feel like as a result. I am so thankful for my Mom. In more ways than one.

He smokes too much, about a pack a day, and that is the most frivolous of our (his) spending. He blows way too much money on the crap but I cannot make him quit, so I have no choice but to deal. I don't go out. I don't do ANYTHING. And it blows.
We do not eat out anymore. We most likely won't even be able to get a Christmas tree this year. And it all boils down to this house payment.

He is due to get a raise in about 5 months. Hopefully it will be a good one. As I had stated in another post, due to some job hopping (as a result of the mental issues he was facing) he is making less now than he was five years ago.

If we could get back to that pay level, all would be well. I am also trying to finish up my schooling so I can get a job. THAT would help things immensely. All we need at this point? Is like an extra $300 a MONTH. That's it. A measly three bills a month and we would be out of the gutter. Ugh.

Anyway... I still cannot help but to get angry at all these comments I am reading on various news articles that pertain to helping people struggling with their mortgage. People just automatically assume that people like me were irresponsible and greedy.
And that is just not the case. Ok, irresponsibility played a small part, but only because we were dumb enough to have that "It won't happen to us" attitude in regards to sickness and craptastic luck.

eh. Sorry. Just venting.